The break up…
we were once love birds… and one day shit went south…
we are not even sure why,
but we just know we can't even agree to disagree;
we can't stand being next to
each other and all of a sudden
we start to weigh our options.
Do I lay it
on him/her nice and easy?
Do I just
coast and let him/her figure out where we headed?
Do I scar him
or her? I mean do something so evil he/she remembers me for the rest of their
miserable life?
(well at least you hope they miserable)
(well at least you hope they miserable)
Well the
greatest mistake you would make is seek advice from your friend… because they
will want to own your quarrel and act out all the things they can’t do in their
relationship. Keep it clean…
Just incase
you are wondering… there is a guideline of “don’ts” below:
Don’t break
up with your Significant other before 9.55am on an environmental Saturday if
you live in lagos or abuja, its guaranteed that if you do it by 7am, some1 is
going to get arrested.
Don’t just
hope that your Significant other drops dead so you wont have to break up with
him/her.
Don’t totally
ignore the person and hope he/she figures it out when he/she sees you are
engaged to some other person on facebook or in some extreme cases buys a porn
dvd with you front and center (true story)
Don’t put it
in writing – no emails, no text messages…and sure as hell no letters, you cant
leave a paper trail of your meanness
Don’t do it
during sex, its just confusing and may be mistaken for dirty talk
Don’t destroy
anything in the house or burn any ones clothes except you wont be the one to
clean it up and you are sure there is no way you will end up paying.
Don’t do it
in person if you are dating a karate, WWE or gidibo champion.
Don’t get
immigration to do it for you, when you know that red/blue passport was the
reason you hooked up anyways
Don’t do it
while drinking, you can drink for courage but make sure the other person is sober
Don’t do it
repeatedly with the same person, its confuses ALL OF US, how would we mind your
business when we don’t know what weekend you guys are together
Public break
ups are embarrassing for everyone. Don’t do it except of course, he/she is a
gidibo champion that doesn’t have a phone. (because the brushing will be epic
at home)
There is no
time or place that will be appropriate but then if you are not together
anyways,
WHO GIVES A FUCK HOW YOU BROKE UP.
Written by @mizchiomz for BT
No comments:
Post a Comment