We are fortunate/unfortunate (depends on how you see things) to be part of a generation where we have access to excess, little or no hindrances, mostly financially stable even with all the problems with the economy... or are we just down-right irresponsible and oblivious to the events that threaten our future?
With all the presumed carelessness, we are still creatures that will strive to survive and the breaking point usually brings about a certain realization... Mortality.
We can be addicted to drugs, sex, alcohol and all what not... but the one thing everyone is addicted to is life... the idea of living... the opportunity to learn from mistakes... right wrongs etc... staying alive or self preservation has to be the ultimate addiction.
We all have our experiences and i decided to collect a few from friends, see if i can start a series of sorts...
Enjoy...
My name is
Charles and I am addicted to life. I woke up that faithful morning, refreshed
from a good night’s sleep without the cast on my leg. I was elated to have my
ankle healed and even happier that I was back working out. The state of my body
has always been of interest to me and as a result I strive to maintain an
appearance of athleticism. I pick out my trusty beach shorts and donned a shirt
made out of a fine Italian cotton, light and airy to give an onlooker the idea
that I reside on an African Riviera.
The plan was to
be picked up by my best friend’s younger brother because we were passengers on
the family boat. I had been waiting for this day for weeks. The women, the
alcohol, the sun, the pool, the food, all these things seemed to cause me to
salivate at the thought of all the debauchery that would take place as I
arrived closer to the 28th anniversary of being alive.
Once we docked at
the beach house I went straight into the pool to wash the sand off me from the
ATV journey there and to give the girls already in attendance a sneak preview
of the body I had been building in the gym since my leg came out of the cast. I
strolled over to the cooler and picked up a bottle of Belvedere and an almost
nearly frozen bottle of Moet. Oh and if you’re wondering, it was rose, this is
the Riviera, I couldn’t let my geographical location down. After distributing
drinks to my sister and her friends plus a bunch of other party-goers who had
convened at the table where I was sat I proceeded to mix my own potion for the
day.
"3 parts of vodka,
2 parts of champagne
a splash of
bitter lemon"
3 parts of vodka,
2 parts of champagne, a splash of bitter lemon. This was what I had planned to
drink all day. I had done much worse than this before as normally I would take
out the lemon and add two shots of Jagermeister to the mix. So I felt I was being
responsible by starting the day slowly.
After about 8 of these drinks I noticed
my balance was suffering and I couldn’t keep my legs from slipping under me.
This is where my memory starts to fade but fortunately enough my actions were
viewed by all the guests at the party like a circus performer at the palace of
a king. The next memory I have is being hoisted onto the ATV and the strong
stench of body odour emanating from the person holding me up. Next was the
tortuous boat ride back to civilisation that left me feeling like a freshly
blended frozen Margherita. After those glimmers of memory the last and final
thing I remembered was being held up by the driver and one of my mother’s
tailors in a cold shower to sober me out of my drunken stupor, muttering the
words,
" “I’m sorry mummy,
I’m so sorry”
over and over again"
“I’m sorry mummy, I’m so sorry” over and over again. The aftermath of
this day out resulted in a 5 week long hangover for some who had never suffered
for more that 2 hrs. I lost body weight drastically because I couldn’t eat
solids. My skin lost its lustre and my hair refused to grow. This whole event
marked the end of my drinking days. Today I am one year and 2 months sober and
still going strong. I am a better person for it, mentally and physically. My
advice to all is when you stop having fun with it, you need to stop. The
experience marked a decade in my years as a solid drinker. 10 years of
systematic and calculated abuse of alcohol and my body decided
it had taken on enough for a whole lifetime.
So, my name is Charles and I’m
addicted to life. I want to live a glorious one in fantastic health.
[2:15:41 PM] @Reniestar: he's so chilled and mellow today
[2:15:53 PM] @Reniestar: so im like 'whats the matter, u
okay?'
[2:16:21 PM] @CINBlack: and he says?
[2:16:21 PM] @Reniestar: he's like 'i had sex last night and
it was rubbish. don’t know how to break it off with her'
[2:16:35 PM] @CINBlack: ohh wow
[2:16:41 PM] @CINBlack: lol!!!
[2:16:46 PM] @CINBlack: i know how he feels
[2:17:06 PM] @CINBlack: but he should give it another try...
maybe their chemistry was just off
[2:17:40 PM] @Reniestar: oh well
[2:17:54 PM] @Reniestar: thats why he's got a long face all
day
[2:18:01 PM] @CINBlack: lol
[2:18:17 PM] @CINBlack: tell him not to run
[2:18:21 PM] @Reniestar: if sex is rubbish i blame the dude
jo
[2:18:33 PM] @CINBlack: are u kidding?
[2:18:51 PM] @CINBlack: how do you figure that
[2:19:45 PM] @Reniestar: well, the lady is usually the
nervous one first time, so dude needs to reassure her with talking and spend extra
time on foreplay
[2:20:02 PM] @Reniestar: but i figure Tom is lazy
[2:20:08 PM] @Reniestar: he's just wham bam!
[2:20:10 PM] @CINBlack: hmm... wont argue with that
[2:20:31 PM] @CINBlack: how do u know he just wham bam'd it?
[2:22:39 PM] @Reniestar: well there was once, he had a car
accident but he didnt tell us a girl was in the car. so on another day, Tina
and i grilled him about the accident, turns out he was with a girl he just
crenked. so we asked him about that, and he was like, after crenking he dozed
off. so Tina and i were like 'did the girl sleep too' and he's like 'he doesnt
know'. so we figured that he's the type that sleeps off as soon as he's done
whether or not the girl is done.
[2:23:24 PM] @CINBlack: thats bad
[2:23:32 PM] @CINBlack: not good at all
[2:23:49 PM] @CINBlack: and u used the "word"
krenked
[2:23:51 PM] @CINBlack: lol!!
[2:24:03 PM] @Reniestar: oh is it a 'k'
[2:24:24 PM] @CINBlack: ah its 'k'
[2:24:35 PM] @Reniestar: how come its not a 'c'
[2:26:03 PM] @CINBlack: cos its not
[2:26:05 PM] @CINBlack: lol
[2:26:49 PM] @CINBlack: u want to argue over the spelling
of a word that doesnt exist
We walk around like we have things under control, like we
know what the future holds..
we laugh, cry, scream, cuss, mock people, fall in and out of that illusion
called love and even wish the worst for people…
our days are numbered on this earth… that's a promise.
this year alone I have lost at least 3 friends if my count
is right… but life always seems to go on
not a bad thing… but a necessary thing.
The problem is the way we handle the matter.
It takes death to help us acknowledge what someone means,
might have meant or could mean to us… one minute everyone is against you and
the minute you are no more they all come out wailing and ranting, spouting
weightless rubbish out their mouth and now to make matters worse… everyone gets
a voice through the every expanding social media.
If you ask me, I think it’s about the need for people to
have someone to point a finger to…
someone to compare and judge, someone you
can use as a measure for
moral, relationship or financial success. (to list a few)
I don’t wish I met her but I know there are people out there
that feel the pain of her exit. And for me it’s a joke that everyone takes to
twitter to communicate feelings. Say a prayer for her family and keep it at
that… social media makes a joke of a lot of things…
“remember that opinions are like ass holes… everyone got one”
I hope we learn to be a little more sympathetic and
sensitive to peoples pain.
Death is the absence of one’s essence, never to be felt
again… that moment of silence is necessary… try and remember a lost one’s
essence and say a prayer.
but is it just me or is the clubbing experience in Lagos
gradually going to hell…
I mean I understand it’s a club and all and that people are
supposed to be there…
and yes they are supposed to be drinking…
now I have to
be honest…
there aren’t that many options out there and the few that will pass
are so overcrowded that it’s a fire hazard.
I mean why would I want to be shoulder to shoulder with
people I don’t know?…
maybe the
opportunity to sneak in accidental kisses or “cop a feel” from an unsuspecting
female is enough of an incentive to be there but seriously…
is it really that
serious?
outside the club there are people scattered all over the
place…
some trying to get in, some trying to get out others just trying to get
laid…
when you finally make your way into the club,
your hit with that very
still, heavy, stinky wall of air mixed with thick smoke
in a room or
space with little or no ventilation…
people moving around in drones as if under
the ever generous spell of intoxication.
Let’s not talk about the illusive idea of that one “special”
space in the corner
that keeps getting biggeras clubs spring up daily…
I am talking about the little room in the back labeled VIP.
What
horse shit…
what criteria does one have to meet to be welcomed to the clique of
the Very Important People?
I ask that to say this…
there is nothing important
about half the people in that room…
including myself… I mean the hell do I
do?...
oh yeah… spend money; and guess what…
so does half of Lagos state.
I was out one Friday night…
started off at a place called
Greenwich somewhere in V.I.
this was the first for me and I was quite happy
with what I saw…
chill night, good crowd… the music tho… a little different
but
I got over that soon as the henny made its way into my system.
It wasn't overcrowded, the music wasn't irritatingly loud,
you could actually see through
to the other end of the room.
I mean you could actually talk to the person next
to you and dance without being intrusive.
This was a nice place to be… maybe
just for that night though…
might be different the next time I find myself there.
From there we made our way to Likwid…
there was a debate
about where to go though…
this was between Likwid and SIP…
hmmm not a big fan of
both places…SIP on Fridays…
at some point was a no no for me…
would rather
experiment slitting my wrist with a tea-spoon… (that’s changed now)
get there early
and you will have a blast!
Likwid on the other hand… OMG!!! Don’t know about
other nights...
but that night was a mess…
crowded, hot, sticky… I really don’t
know how people do this…
you walk in there and you wonder if everyone is ok…
how do you have fun in such a place?
I mean… it is HOT and dank!
And the
Christmas rush has just started…
I think I will return to my haven… DeMarquee… if I
really have to be out.
But really… I think I know what I will be doing this
Christmas season… chilling with friends
at a bar or the house with enough food,
drinks and good convo.
Its really not that Serious.
*please note that this is not an ad/promo or whatever for
any of the clubs mentioned in this write up… its just an opinion and should be
treated as such*
we were once love birds… and one day shit went south…
we are not even sure why,
but we just know we can't even agree to disagree;
we can't stand being next to
each other and all of a sudden
we start to weigh our options.
Do I lay it
on him/her nice and easy?
Do I just
coast and let him/her figure out where we headed?
Do I scar him
or her? I mean do something so evil he/she remembers me for the rest of their
miserable life? (well at least you hope they miserable)
Well the
greatest mistake you would make is seek advice from your friend… because they
will want to own your quarrel and act out all the things they can’t do in their
relationship. Keep it clean…
Just incase
you are wondering… there is a guideline of “don’ts” below:
Don’t break
up with your Significant other before 9.55am on an environmental Saturday if
you live in lagos or abuja, its guaranteed that if you do it by 7am, some1 is
going to get arrested.
Don’t just
hope that your Significant other drops dead so you wont have to break up with
him/her.
Don’t
outsource or delegate the task to anyone especially your pastor, spouse or
kids. Spouse? (imagine sending your spouse to go breakup with you
fling/girlfriend/boyfriend… that would be too funny) if you tried it before
please share with us…
Don’t totally
ignore the person and hope he/she figures it out when he/she sees you are
engaged to some other person on facebook or in some extreme cases buys a porn
dvd with you front and center (true story)
Don’t put it
in writing – no emails, no text messages…and sure as hell no letters, you cant
leave a paper trail of your meanness
Don’t do it
during sex, its just confusing and may be mistaken for dirty talk
Don’t destroy
anything in the house or burn any ones clothes except you wont be the one to
clean it up and you are sure there is no way you will end up paying.
Don’t do it
in person if you are dating a karate, WWE or gidibo champion.
Don’t get
immigration to do it for you, when you know that red/blue passport was the
reason you hooked up anyways
Don’t do it
while drinking, you can drink for courage but make sure the other person is sober
Don’t do it
repeatedly with the same person, its confuses ALL OF US, how would we mind your
business when we don’t know what weekend you guys are together
Public break
ups are embarrassing for everyone. Don’t do it except of course, he/she is a
gidibo champion that doesn’t have a phone. (because the brushing will be epic
at home)
There is no
time or place that will be appropriate but then if you are not together
anyways,
