The Tin Man

I have felt that pain couple times

pain in the gut, the feeling that you are missing something

someone

this pain is not new

for some reason, I get over it

I find what I am/was looking for

Each time I welcome her back

she lays beside me and promises not to leave me

and I believe her

forgetting her past transgressions I dive in

Head first

Forgetting her past transgressions… 

old memories and emotions take over

making me an emotional mess

but I endure, I might like it

because its her, 

She gives it to me good all the time

I am out with the guys, I see her

with a guy, comfy and snuggly

she sees me…

I laugh

at her? No. 

at myself? Yes.

Cos I am certain it’s the last time…

Knock on the door…

who is it? I ask…

a familiar voice answers... "its me"

My heart melts

I push the button…

Sitting, thinking about what I have done…

with a glass of Jameson in hand and 

ice dancing around in glass as if happy with what I had done

I smile and take long drag of the cigar…

Yes I did it.